When A Man Loves A Woman
by blackrose538
Summary: When a man loves a woman he can't keep his mind on nothing else. When a man loves a woman I know exactly how he feels. Mac keeps thinking about one woman and finally realizes what she really means to him. Smacked of course. Need to keep them in our mind


**Well, actually I wasn't planning to publish anything else during the next few days, but when I listened to an old song from Percy Sledge this came into my mind and I just had to write it down. It's quite long though... I haven't expect it to be that long but I just couldn't do it better ;) I hope you don't mind.**

**DISCLAIMER 1:I do not own anything of CSI:NY. I just borrowed the characters of the show. They all belong to CBS, Jerry Bruckheimer and all those people the series belongs to ;) **

**DISCLAIMER 2: I do not own the song. The lyrics belong to Percy Sledge! (Lyrics are the italic lines between these little signs: **_~ lyrics ~ _**)**

**Everything else written in italic letters is a quote or a scene from the past, but you'll see it, because it's always mentioned before... ;)**

**I hope you like this story. It took quite a long time to write it.**

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When A Man Loves A Woman

He sits in his office in the crime lab on the very comfortable chair behind his desk, his back turned to the door that leads into the corridor. He stares out of the window onto the city of New York which is lightened by the sunlight which shines bright onto the city. He is lost in his thoughts. Thoughts about one woman in his life who he knows for quite a long time and who he can't get out of his mind for a few days now. He always wonders why he can't stop thinking about her, but he doesn't find an answer for that. He was just thinking about her. Whenever he has some minutes where he isn't busy. Actually he is busy. There was quite a lot of work waiting for him to get done but right now, he needs this little break. He thinks about the great moments they shared in the past. The time when his wife died after 9/11 she had been at his side and helped him to get over this big loss, which he never really did, but he could live with that quite well now. Also the time at the hospital after he and Don Flack got into an explosion and Flack nearly got killed by that. He spent one evening at the hospital after they closed the case. She had been there with him. He remembered the look in her eyes when he told her he had been glad that she stayed.

"_That's what we do. We care for each other."_ She had told him and given him one of the most loving looks he had ever seen in her eyes before. He also remembered the day after Peyton broke up with him through that letter. He would never forget that knowing and yet comforting and understanding look she had given him when he had seen her in that club where he played with the band. But he had been there for her, too. After that terrible thing that happened to her with Frankie he had told her to take her time and come back to work when she was ready to. At the hospital, after he found her, he could barely stand the way she looked at him. Her sad eyes and yet confused and frightened look. But also the tears that she had cried that day were something he could bare stand. But he was the one who looked for evidence in her apartment knowing that she wouldn't have wanted someone else to do it.

And not to forget the day her apartment was on fire and she had no place to live, he offered her his spare room, which she didn't take because of her reasoning she was snoring. And he followed her to Greece to help her and to show her that she wasn't alone after all.

Every time she had given him one of those looks. Sometimes thankful, sometimes sad, sometimes happy and sometimes loving. And from time to time he still gets those looks from her. And every once in a while it's a mixture of some of the looks. And when he's feeling bad he gets a comforting look, or an understanding look and sometimes a knowing look. Always reminding him that she is his best friend and she'll ever be whatever happens.

A soft knock on glass door of his office brings him back to reality. He turns around to face that someone that enters his office.

"Hey Mac." She greets him.

"Stella." He replies a bit softer than he had planned and smiles at her.

"Wow. Haven't heard that tone in your voice for a long time. Did I interrupt you?"

"No… no, I… um… was just thinking about something." He tells her in half truth.

"Something? Must have been something very nice to cause that loving tone in your voice and that nice smile on your face." She tells him.

"Caught me, Stella. I was thinking about someone."

"Someone? Did I miss something?"

"No. Actually it was someone you know. You know her very well I guess." He speaks in puzzles and she gives him a confused look.

"Mac, you know I like bringing pieces of a puzzle together but when it comes to you and what, or better, who you're thinking about it's quite difficult to do so."

"I'm sorry. Wanted to say that someone was you." Now she looks at him in surprise before she arches an eyebrow.

"Really? To what do I owe this honor?"

"You're my best friend? I don't know. Was just… thinkin' about things happened in the past and that we've always been there for each other."

"And again this is what we do. Best friend. And… actually I just came to give you the last case file we've closed." She says and then she left with a nod and a smile. A smile that means so much to him.

_~ When a man loves a woman  
Can't keep his mind on nothing else ~_

And again he starts thinking about her. There had been another reason why he followed her to Greece. A reason he never would admit exists inside him. She was her best friend and even though he was mad at her this time he didn't want to loose his best friend. But anyways… something inside his heart had told him to follow her and to be there with her. She would need that help and she needed that best friend she had in him. He knew she had been through a quite bad time and he knew her so well that he couldn't really blame her for acting like she did. Anyways she shouldn't have done it and she told him that when they met in Greece. He had admitted to her the biggest reason why he had followed her.

"…_because I care about you." He had told her._

"_Thank you." She had replied with a very thankful but yet a bit sad look in her eyes. _

And he didn't regret that he followed her and that he told her that he cared about her, because it was the truth. And he didn't want to loose the one good thing he had in his life. His best friend Stella.

_~ He'll trade the world  
For the good thing he's found ~_

But after all that good things he also remembers the bad or sad times. When she was hurt so much by Frankie and he was with her in hospital and she cried he couldn't really stand it. He just can't see her unhappy or sad. But there will always be times when she is sad or unhappy or even not satisfied with herself. She's one of the strongest women he knows, but anyways she's still a woman. A human being with feelings and a heart that can be hurt very easily.

He couldn't even see her cry when she had a very good reason to do so. It was again back in Greece when they were on that plantation, chasing Professor P and his brother. Professor P was killed that day and she cried. She had all reason to cry and he understood it very well, but still he just couldn't see her crying. All he could do was taking her away from his dead body and into his arms.

And still now, whenever she would be sad or unhappy he wouldn't be able to see her like this. He would always try to make her feel better. And in the end he would be proud to have been the one who made her feel better and who made her smile again. He would tell myself that he probably is in love with her, but he wouldn't act on that because his brain would tell him that he's a stupid bastard that always sees his feelings when the woman of question feels bad and it can be seen very bad to use her feeling bad to get her where he wants her to be. And he wouldn't look like that kind of a guy. He's not like that. And she knew it, but she wouldn't mind if he would act on that, but that was something he doesn't know.

_  
__~ If she's bad he can't see it  
She can do no wrong ~_

Well, he wouldn't care if somebody would tell him that she's not the right one. And even if somebody would tell something bad about her or even hurt her he would turn into a pain in the neck. He would be insufferable.

Thinking about his best friend besides Stella he thinks of Flack. Would he ever put her down? He wouldn't. Stella is his friend, too and when there is something he would like for them both it would be seeing them happy. So there was nobody he has to be afraid of…

_  
__~ Turn his back on his best friend  
If he put her down ~  
_

But still he is afraid of something he doesn't know why he's afraid of. Maybe it's the feeling of being hurt by someone he loves. But would she ever hurt him? Probably not, because she doesn't want to be hurt either. She had been hurt by a lot of people in her life and she would be happy to finally get the one she knows of he would never hurt her like that.

But he didn't know that she was in love with him. And was he in love with her?

_~ When a man loves a woman ~_

Fact was that he would do everything for her. There was rarely something he wouldn't do for her. If it would make her happy he would even wear a pink shirt. Even though he would never wear it at work for everybody to see, but he probably would do it if it was something she wanted. Probably she wouldn't want him to wear a pink shirt because it would make him look a bit, well, stupid. He never wears pink. But as he thinks about that he would do that at home, where nobody could see him. Nobody else than she, of course. Well, actually he isn't sure about that thing with the pink shirt. If he would really do that, he doesn't really know. But it feels a lot better to at least think to himself that he would do it for her.

But he definitely would always try to make things right when they might have had an argument and were mad at each other. He just can't live without her at his side and as his friend. And maybe more than just his friend.

_~ Spend his very last dime_

_Tryin' to hold on to what he needs  
He'd give up all his comfort  
Sleep out in the rain  
If she said that's the way it ought to be ~ _

Lindsay is in one of the Lab rooms working on a case. She can see Mac's office from where she stands. She watches him for nearly half an hour now, so long has she been here now. He had changed his position. Well, he just had turned his back towards the corridor. But before he done that Lindsay watched him obviously lost in thoughts. She had seen a small smile on his face. A smile she knows very well. He always has that smile when he's doing something and Stella appears near him. She could see that smile appear again when Stella interrupted him probably staring out of the window and probably forcing him out of his thoughts.

He had that smile on his face when he saw Stella. Lindsay remembers a lot of those tiny moments between them and she could tell one thing:

_~ Well, this man loves a woman ~_

She is in her office, sitting on the chair behind her desk and staring at the screen of the computer. But she sees nothing. She was lost in her thoughts. She thinks about her best friend and what he told her before.

"He was thinking about me…" she whispers to herself.

She couldn't really figure out why of all the sudden he told her that he was thinking about her. Just because of some memories? She could barely believe that this was the only reason.

"There is something more behind him thinking about me…" But actually she wouldn't mind if that would be true. She's done so many things to make him see what she really feels inside, but on the other hand he never had act on that before. Maybe he had has his time now.

"Just promise me one thing, Mac, when you feel what I feel for you… please… do never hurt me…" she whispers to herself again.

_  
__~ I gave you everything I had  
Tryin' to hold on to your precious love  
Baby, please don't treat me bad ~_

Remembering again what had happened to Stella with Frankie makes Mac feel like he's back in that misery he was in during the time he and Flack investigated what exactly had happened to her. Of course he couldn't stand to even imagine Stella in another man's arms but she was, and she was several times after that happened. He wants her to be happy, yes but deep down in his heart and soul he wants to be the man who makes her happy. He had done so much for her in the past but why didn't he act on what he feels? First he was afraid, then she was with another man and then? Then he didn't act on those feelings. He didn't even try to. Thinking about that he curses himself a fool for not seeing what is real. For not trying to tell her what he feels.

That one night, when she came into his office in that beautiful black dress her hair pinned up and just a few of her beautiful curls hanging down to her shoulders, he couldn't do anything else than what her with that wow-she-looks-very-good-look in his eyes and she got his look the right way. It felt a bit strange that she removed his tie, in his office and just smiling at him. She stood just a few inches from him and he could smell her perfume and it makes him think what he would do if she wouldn't be out on a date this night. He thinks that was the first time when he feels something else starting to build inside his heart and soul.

He even protects her from Sinclair if he has a problem with her. When they began to work at the crime lab she had a few problems because some people didn't like the way she was doing her job and Sinclair was really angry about that one case, because it was the fourth one, but he still protected her and told him that he do not want to let her go he do not even let her stop to investigate the case she was working on, but he had talked to her about that. And he was angry with her, but in the end, they were friends again. But this thing with Sinclair could have ended in a very different way. But he didn't really care about that. She was his best friend and he would protect her at any cost.

_~ When a man loves a woman  
Down deep in his soul  
She can bring him such misery ~_

Peyton comes back into his mind. He fell in love with her quite a long time ago now, but she broke up with him when she stayed in London and he was back in New York where he belonged. He wouldn't really feel home in London and she didn't felt home in New York. Late he realized that her decision was best for them.

"But she hadn't played me for a fool, has she?" he whispers to himself.

Maybe he just didn't see it. It's said that love is blind. Maybe there is something real behind it.

"But why the hell do I think of Peyton? She has nothing to do with what I'm feeling for my best friend. Has she?" he whispers to himself again. But anyways he would never get to know. And even if she played him for a fool he would have been the last to see it.

_  
__~ If she plays him for a fool  
He's the last one to know  
Lovin' eyes can't ever see ~_

Flack sits in the precinct behind his desk on his less comfortable chair and thinks about his two best friends. Actually he doesn't understand why Mac doesn't see what everybody sees and why the heck he didn't act on the feelings he obviously had for Stella. On the other hand he doesn't understand why Stella doesn't act on the feelings she obviously has for Mac, too. Maybe she wants him to do the first step and he does understand why.

"Mac couldn't do anything wrong…" Don whispers to himself. "They've been through so much together, they've had fights and didn't talk to each other but they became friends again every time. Why the heck doesn't he do something before he looses her for good?"

He understood that Mac might be afraid of making the first step and telling Stella what he really feels and then loosing her, because she doesn't feel like that or she doesn't want to act on that, but actually Don knows that Mac couldn't do the wrong thing with telling Stella the truth. And even if they would have some problems later in their relationship, because Mac's not sure or afraid of being hurt again, Stella wouldn't leave him. She never left him before and Don was sure that she won't leave him in future. So why doesn't he at least try it?

_  
__~ When a man loves a woman  
He can do no wrong ~_

He never really owned her. Peyton. Or anybody else he went out on a date with. He just couldn't. Even in his time with Peyton he was thinking about Stella sometimes and how it would feel like to be together with her. At least Peyton showed him that he was able to do something like a romantic relationship again. But after she left him he isn't sure he really could do it another time. But sometimes remembering the quite good time he had with her; it gives him at least a tiny little bit of hope to try it with Stella. But still he's afraid of even thinking about asking her out and trying to start something new with her.

But he also can't do it with someone else.

_~ He can never own some other girl ~_

Danny sits at home in his living room, staring out of the window, his little daughter Lucy in his arms. He's thinking about her godfather and the best friend of him. Even he sees what Mac's thinking about when Stella enters a room he is in. He notices those little gazes or smiles between them and how they understand each other without sharing a single word. He is a bit jealous of that sometimes, but he also doesn't understand why those two people doesn't seem to act on their feelings, because Danny sees that Mac's obviously in love with his long time partner and best friend Stella. He knows exactly how he feels. He can imagine that Mac's afraid of making a step toward the woman he seems to be in love with, but Mac was the one who gave him the advice when he asked him about Lindsay. Mac told him to take that step towards her and to make her see that he cares about her. But why doesn't he do this? Is he afraid of the same thing he was? At least he could imagine. But otherwise Danny always thought that Mac's such a strong man who wouldn't be afraid of those things. But regarding the things Mac's been through in his life, he partly understands that he didn't move on.

"We'll make you're uncle Mac see who he belongs to and that he doesn't have to be afraid, hu, Lucy?" he says to his daughter who is looking at her and then smiling as if she wants to agree with him. As if she understands what Danny's talking about.

_  
__~ Yes when a man loves a woman  
I know exactly how he feels ~_

"Why the hell am I afraid of telling her what I feel inside?" Mac asks himself. He is still sitting in his office and still stares out of his window. But now the sun is gone and the city is full of lights. It looks beautiful somehow to look at it at night. He always like the view over the city but to look at it at night has something special for him. Something he doesn't know what it is.

"I don't know that either." He hears a familiar voice saying behind him. He turns around to face Stella who leans in his door frame looking at him.

"Didn't hear you coming…" he says his face a bit flushed.

"I noticed it. Again lost in thought, hu?" she asks him and he just nods.

"So… what are you afraid of telling me?" she asks him with a knowing smile.

"Well… that I… feel something inside that's more than just friendship." He tells her in truth.

"Why are you afraid of telling me that?"

"Because… I don't know. I'm just afraid of loosing you. That you might not feel like I do and that you… well that you would not want to have anything to do with me then."

"Because you tell me that you fell in love with me?"

"Yeah… You know I'm not that open when it comes to feelings, because…"

"Because you're afraid of getting hurt again? I wouldn't hurt you, Mac. And you know it. If you look deep into your heart you know it." She says and then smiles.

"I know it's just… you know… complicated."

"Why is that? Because we work together? You've done that before with someone else, Mac. And... I don't mind if it would be complicated… it won't be easy for us anyways."

"True. I wouldn't mind that either. But that other person wasn't… well she wasn't what you are for me."

"What am I for you?"

"I don't know if you will understand this…" he begins.

_  
__~ 'Cause baby, baby, baby, you're my world ~_

"Try it." She tells him her beautiful green eyes looking into his beautiful blue ones.

"You're part of my past, my present and my future. I can always count on you. You're… well, you're my world, somehow." He says.

"And that's what you are for me, too." She replies and takes a step closer to him. He stands up and walks toward her. They stand only inches between them, looking into the other one's eyes and trying to find what they're looking for and finally find it.

"You can say that I'm stupid that I didn't see it before but… I love you." He tells her and she just smiles.

"Mac, I know you for such a long time now and I know that sometimes good things need their time. I didn't want to push you into something you weren't ready to face and I've waited patiently. I'll never call you stupid for that."

"Really?" he asks a bit unsure of what to do. She places her hand on his cheek and looks into his eyes.

"Really. And I do not say that to make you feel better. I say it because it's the truth. And the truth is that… I love you, too." she says and the looks down for a moment. He places his finger under her chin gently making her look at him again. Their eyes locked for a moment both thinking the same thing. He leans in a bit closer and kisses her softly.

"I wouldn't mind starting something new between us." He whispers in her ear and she pulls back, looks at him and says: "I wouldn't mind that either." Then she kisses him again. This time a bit more passion. Her hand moves to his neck and the other still on his waist. He has one hand on her back, holding her close and the other one lost in her curls, both enjoying their new union.

_~ When a man loves a woman.... ~_

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**So... I hope you liked this one. Please let me know what you think!!!! :) I would be really happy to know :) (and I'm curious about it [grin])**

_**blackrose538® **_


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